Better Wasn't Good Enough
by SugarButter
Summary: Better wasn't good enough. But still, she would strive. Can't Go Home Again oneshot. **The Puppet refers to Security Puppet in this story**


**So, I know I don't really post much, and there's a reason for that. I've been a lot harsher on my writing, not wanting to post anything but the works I'm proud of, so many writings are scrapped. I've been working hard to improve my writing.**

**I also wrote a really good oneshot on A Fool's Endeavor, but there is no category for that on , so I posted it on Ao3. I believe that account is still GalaxyMegaGirl at the moment, but I plan to change it.**

**Anyways, onto the story!**

* * *

For as long as she could remember, she had always been brusque. She would never hide the truth and wasn't afraid of hurting anyone's feelings, uncaring to how others thought and felt about her.

For as long as she could remember, she was a cajole and manipulative being, programmed into her brain to deceive with her soft voice, emotions so dimmed they were nearly nonexistent.

For as long as she could remember, she lived in a quixotic mindset, where she did no wrong and this mindset was okay. She could be as harsh as she wanted, as toxic and hateful as the situation called for, and it was an acceptable behaviour. She didn't have to watch her tone, or moniter her words on a scale of the hurt they could cause. She could be as rough as she wanted, verbally abusing all who crossed her path merely for existing.

However, this mindset was diminished once that dreaded Puppet came along.

No matter how hard the animatronic tried, she couldn't bear it in her heart to spill the blunt words towards the being. Her thoughts would linger on her, but not in the way they might linger on another. Perhaps the fact that this being could see right through her act, disappointment radiating both off her mask and her soul.

The clown couldn't disappoint the girl. No, she wanted to draw the girl in, using her soft words for the good. She couldn't bear the sadness that the puppet seemed to give off whenever her words got to sharp, or she used her manipulative ways against another. When she snipped at her lover's girl, both in words and actions, it seemed to the clown that the puppet could hardly bear to be in her vicinity. So she strived harder to behave better.

But to Charlie, better never seemed good enough.

Baby made a goal to herself: she would become good enough. No matter how hard it may be, no matter how strong the temptation would be to fall back to her ways, she would resist.

She needed to become good enough.

* * *

Baby could hardly contain her excitement. Within her actions the prospect already rubbed off, but she kept herself reined in. She couldn't help it- if she could never perform, the next best thing was to mentor Charlie to becoming the most graceful and talented performer of them all. She had a lot to learn, of course, but Baby kept herself patient as she did with everything.

Charlie popped out of her box quickly in an almost forced motion, nearly startling the clown, with a cacophonous burst of bells that would've scared any young child. "No, no, not like that." Baby pushed, trying to keep her voice soft. "That would scare any child with a mind set right. No, try it again, this time with a more gentle undertone." Charlie dropped back down into her box, face set with the determination to do this, and to do it _right_.

She, again, popped back out of the box, slower and with her hands at her sides instead of in front of her, jingling a tune from her childhood. It was better, but it wasn't good enough, Baby decided. She wasn't going to be rude or harsh, but she most certainly would push her until perfection. She knew Charlie could do it, she could handle it.

"Better, but do it again. Do.. something with your hands. Try some jazz hands, those go well with everything." Baby pushed, keeping her tone lighthearted and soft, not at all reprimanding.

So Charlie easily dropped into the box again, preparing herself to leap from the box again. Baby's words kept going through her head as she continuously practiced her grand entrance... or popout. Whatever it might be considered.

"A little more to the left. Bigger smile! No, not that kind of smile, you look like an evil puppet now. Good, but more spring. No, no, not so much that your legs are showing. Try a ballet pose... ooh, no, too, just _no_. Maybe-" Baby's onslaught of commands finally stopped when Charlie let her programming take over. She lowered into the box and gave in to the pressure in her chest, the whispering in her mind of what to do. She popped out, gracefully yet energetically, her bells a tune she'd never heard yet somehow felt as if she'd known it her own life. Baby's reminders fell silent as she watched, before laughing excitedly. Her claw and hand clapped together. "Perfect."

Charlie's smile became less generic and a more excited and genuine one as she dropped into the box again, repeatedly practicing until Baby finally stopped her. "It's wonderful. Don't wear it thin- we don't want you to get to sick of it."

Charlie's smile grew smaller, but it surely wasn't about her practice being cut short. It was Baby herself, the caring comment, and as the silence grew she became more confused, which only showed the way she was changing drastically. It may seem to be small to most, but to Charlie, this was a huge step.

Her smile was a shy, small smile and she stepped out of the box. Confused at the puppet and worried she'd upset her, she rolled back a step, but Charlie's hand reached out and gently stopped her movements. Confused as ever, her eyes looked down to the hand as Charlie's other hand went to her cheek.

"You're doing so good." Her voice was so soft, filled with the proof of how _proud_ the puppet truly was of the clown. The unfamiliar tone only sent Baby into more confusion, along with the figurative pounding of her heart at the puppet's closeness.

Her porcelain lips just barely brushed against Baby's painted ones. It felt as if she were shocked, without the riddling pain throughout her bones. Baby reacted immediately by trying to follow Charlie as she nearly immediately pulled away, but a black finger came between them and rested on her lips. "Ah, ah, ah. Not yet."

Baby only now understood. She was showing her what she could have, if she becomes the person Charlie knows she can be, that Charlie knows that she is. She managed to make Charlie _proud_, and the desire to have that feeling again was imminent in her chest and head. She needed it, no matter how much she hated having to admit it. Charlie softened her, as if she were ice cream and Charlie was the sun, beating upon the melting scoop.

She knew that she needed to keep working, to become better, to earn Charlie's praise again. She needed it with a vigor she didn't know she had.

"So, what's next?" It was as if the kiss hadn't happened, she was back to her cheery self- though she may only seem cheery due to a constant smile- and Baby tried to think. She'd practiced popping out of her box, but she hadn't practiced the singing. She hadn't even shown Charlie the song! She was quick to get the book, trying not to let the giddiness leak through, hoping maybe Charlie would become extremely impressed by the book and- though she knew this wasn't more than a dream- maybe she'd be _proud_ again.

Charlie's smile widened and she backed up, preparing to start the song, and said nothing. But her smile, the way her eyes lifted and she looked at her, she could practically _feel_ her excitement.

When she began the song, she felt her own emotions of being proud of Charlie. Here she was, preparing to perform, when she'd swore up and down and to New Jersey that she wouldn't become a performing animatronic, and yet here she was. Her voice rang out the lyrics beautifully as she let her other voice- the bells and jingles- accompany.

Baby couldn't help it. She felt proud, and she felt herself slipping. She knew what this was, and knew she couldn't fight it. This wasn't anything like the schoolgirl crush she'd held on the technician: this was love.

* * *

Charlie was confused.

How could she not be? She felt something for Baby. When she looked at the clown, she could see right through her charades and she saw what the clown could be, what potential the clown had, rather than seeing what the clown truly was. Some may say this was blind, but she knew what the clown was. She knew that the clown wasn't anywhere near perfect. Yet she allowed herself to expect the most of the clown, despite the disappointment it may arouse against the clown.

She still held those lingering feelings towards John, and it definitely wasn't fair to Baby of her, stringing her along with her words and that kiss. She felt nearly as if her feelings were less remnant to John himself and more towards his connection to her old life: after all, John and Mike were nearly identical personality-wise, and she never held any romantic feelings towards the security guard. It wasn't as if she would ever see John again, so her feelings were hardly valid anyways. For all she could know, he was dead- of course, she figured Mike would tell her if John truly had passed.

But these feelings towards Baby, they were nearly intoxicating. She couldn't push them away, she couldn't hide them- if her feelings for John couldn't be pushed aside, how could these- and now she gave Baby just a taste of what she could have. She couldn't be with Baby, not now. She had standards. But she knew that if she truly tried, she could meet her standards.

She couldn't ignore the fact that her mind largely hoped that she would become what she knew that Baby truly was.

* * *

She twitched as she heard a group of children running past the garage, claw closing into itself. It was Halloween night: the night she feared most. She heard somebody calling for a 'Timothy' and another kid crying out the number of candies he'd scored. Some kid was yelling out for cake- the _sweet, creamy frosting coa-_ No. She wouldn't let her thoughts come to this. Thoughts included, she would become better.

The phone was right there with a strong temptation: with the distraction of Charlie, life would be easier tonight. But she couldn't. She didn't want the puppet to view her as weak, as another animatronic who couldn't control herself.

She skated towards the door. A peek at the children couldn't hurt, could it? But no, she wouldn't cave. With the claw already clenching and her metal shaking from the sounds alone, she knew that the temptation of sight would be worse. If she hurt a child, she would never be worth Charlie's time.

She skated back away from the door quickly, looking around for a distraction. Typically this didn't matter to her, yet she needed something to keep her thoughts from _the scooping motion of the warm scooper, dipping into the ice cream container, leaving behind a perfectly spherical hole, the chilled scoop resting perfectly in the-_

She shook the thoughts from her head: she hated this. Her programming left her nearly in shambles, and there was nothing she could do about her. The phone stood out, nearly shining, and Charlie's number appeared in her head. But she couldn't. The temptation alone was enough to block out the sounds of the kids, but there wasn't any way she could...

But what if she didn't mention anything about needing the distraction. Charlie didn't know that she was a patient being, able to stay alone with her thoughts as long as she needed, though, did she? Before she could contemplate this any further, however, the phone abruptly broke out in a ring. Before a second ring could continue, the phone was already in her hand, pushed up to where her ear would be and a desperate hope came through before she could halt it. The want- the _need_\- to hear the one voice she could never forget, the one voice that made her knee joints weak and the desire to be _better_ to come through her.

But it wasn't. It was that night guard that housed her. Mike. She barely registered what he said the first time. "Hey, I just wanted to call and check in. How are you doing? The party got called off early, when someone threw up in the punch it sort of got ruined... anyways, we were just thinking you might be lonely."

The sadness was quick to set in, and her voice was sharp. "Why would you even-" She cut herself off. There was that harshness that Charlie hated. "Sorry.. I'm doing fine, thanks."

"Okay, just checking in. If you wanted, you're welcome to come stay- you're always welcome over here. Our home is your-" He cut off and she heard voices, but she couldn't tell of anything said.

A familiar voice suddenly chimed in over the phone. "You want company?" Three words, three simple soft words. Three words that made her heart spin, her knees go weak.

If it was anyone else, she would've immediately turned her down. Her tone would become harsh, she would hang up the phone for even the mere thought of her loneliness to cross their minds. But this wasn't anybody else.

This was Charlie.

Her voice cut out, not long but long enough for Charlie to break in. "Even if you don't, I'm on my way." Baby could hardly contain her excitement, before she heard another giggle from behind the garage door and was now aware of the door beginning to open and candy was likely passed to the kids by Scott- he must've barely gotten home from the party- and realized that Charlie would see her in a tough spot. She was torn, but she felt the slightest twitch in her faceplates of a smile. "Okay then, I'll see you." What else could she do? She could keep herself from hurting a child, she could keep her attitude in check, but she couldn't say no to Charlie. She saw through her every time.

Baby paced the floor in a steady rhythm, knowing Charlie would have to wait for the children to be cleared from the streets before she could come in and eventually stopped in her spot as the sound of children grew louder, it was all she could hear. The sound was overwhelming her, and her claw continuously twitched and clamping itself together before she managed to stick it shut, her body shaking as she fought her programming.

* * *

Charlie managed to sneak in, greeting Scott with a smile- and not the one seemingly stuck on her face- towards him before silently pointing towards the garage in asking. He immediately knew what she was asking and nodded, waiting until she slipped through the garage to open the door to more waiting kids.

Charlie took a few seconds of scanning to realize that Baby had herself hidden. She had pushed herself between the wall and the dryer, hand and claw on each side of her head as if some obscene sound was blaring. She let out a soft sigh of pity and gently approached the animatronic, who looked up and- though her face held no physical changes- she knew that embarrassment had filled her. The clown's hands tried to climb up the walls to get her back on her skates, unable to grip the surface of the wall and in the process she slipped further, nearly on her back, now unable to reach the top of the dryer either. She desperately tried pushing herself out of the space, pushing against the dryer to move it or the wall to move herself, to no avail. Her skirt was wedged between the dryer and the wall, leaving her stuck.

Charlie tried to hold back her laughter, but jingling slipped past her and Baby's gaze went to her before she went back to her pitiful attempt of getting herself unstuck. She didn't seem to notice her skirt, leaving her trying to get her feet on the floor without concern of the skirt.

When the metal screeched against metal, Charlie shirked back and Baby abruptly stopped her movements.

Baby's gaze landed back on Charlie once more, her face somehow looking as if it had given up. She jingled once again, gently approaching and falling to her knees. "Here, let me help you." Her silence only showed her embarrassment furthermore, and Charlie stood back up only to push back the dryer to an angle. It pushed against Baby's arm uncomfortably, but freed the skirt. She helped Baby bend her knees, something she couldn't do properly with the skirt stuck. Gripping an arm, she managed to get the animatronic up, who was immediately sheepish once she was freed.

"Baby?" Charlie's voice was soft and soothing, enough to coax the clown into looking up at her. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm sorry." Did her voice just _crack?_ She definitely wasn't used to that. "The children... I needed to get _away. _I don't want to think..." she trailed off, not wanting to say the words aloud. That would make the overbearing thoughts of sweets that much more prominent on her mind. Luckily, the security puppet seemed to understand and her hand went to her arm, gently rubbing against the metal there. "Don't listen to them. Just listen to my voice. Good, good. Here, let's sit you down somewhere you won't get trapped, shall we?" Letting herself fill the silence and cover the children's laughter and voices with her own gentle voice, she began helping Baby down against the wall furthest from the door before taking a seat next to her, nearer to the garage door. "You're doing good, so good.

"Here, let's talk about something other than Halloween. Do you have any ideas?" Baby perked up slightly, and was quick to answer. "If you wouldn't mind I do want to know more about your human life."

Charlie nodded slowly, her hand still rubbing against her arm in a rhythm, comforting them both. "Okay, let's see here. I was in college for an engineering degree... I had many friends. There was Jessica, my best friend and oftentimes roommate as well. She cared about fashion and makeup, unlike me. She liked to go shopping and liked to party. I still loved her though, she was basically my sister. Then there was Carlton... oh man, was he a jokester." She have an out of tune laugh before continuing to describe her friends, making her heart ache dearly for them, but it was like rubbing a sore muscle. She felt some sort of relief in it, even with the pain. She enjoyed being able to remember them all so vividly, even though it made her miss them so much.

"Then... there was John. Oh boy, where do I start with him. I pushed him away... to the point we went on dates," Baby seemed to stiffen up at this comment. "But I don't know if we were technically dating. I never truly put effort into it... I wish I had sometimes, but I suppose it's good. It would've been harder to let him go if we'd been further in a relationship."

At this point, Baby forgot entirely of the children outside the garage, entirely invested in her past life. Feeling jealousy towards John. She hated to say this, but..

"Why don't you go see them? I mean, if you miss them that is." Charlie looked over to her, her hand finally stopping it's motions. "I don't know... I guess I'm scared. Maybe I should, but if something happens to me, that would be horrible of me. I show up then I leave yet again."

Baby seemed more determined at this. "Hey. You should- and I would love to get to meet the people who could tolerate you. I only pretend to." Charlie only now flashed a genuine smile, knowing this was a joke. "Perhaps... but what if they get scared? One of their dads has reopened the Freddy's case and I-" Baby interrupted firmly. "You've been given a second chance. Don't waste it." Even if it meant that she was giving Charlie up to John, she was willing. If it meant Charlie was happy.

She went silent, tuning Charlie out as she realized this thought process. Since when had she put other's needs before her own?

Charlie gently brushed a hand against her cheek. "Hey." Baby resurfaced her attention. A black finger began rubbing circles against her cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" Baby was confused, as she often was with Charlie. "For being willing for the change."

When the porcelain lips pressed against the metal ones again, Baby was determined for this one to last longer. Though this time it didn't seem that was Charlie's intention as her other hand slipped behind her head, with Baby's claw gently pressed against her back. The porcelain lips seemed to mold against her own metal ones beautifully, sending sparks down her endoskeleton and she heard the hum of her system overheating, but she carried on, unable to quit at the sensation of the lips. Something so small as two lips intertwining causing such a reaction truly baffled Baby.

Then again, everything about Charlie seemed to do that.

* * *

Within the week, the puppet found herself outside a window, peeking in at the group of friends gathered around, chattering about something that she clearly couldn't hear. She was in the backyard, kneeling in a bush, the sun just starting to set. She knew that the group would soon disband, and tried to work up the courage to just knock.

However, she couldn't. Even with the practice with Baby- which she'd laughed at at the time, having to practice knocking- she wished she'd practiced more.

Jessica's mascara seemed to be running, though it could just be the light making it seem that way. John and Marla sat on either side of her. Jason was in a beanbag, sinking into neverland, with Lamar and Carlton sitting with their backs towards her.

She went to stand, to leave, when her foot caught on a small twig in the branch. She tugged on it, hearing a crack and she fell towards the windowpane, her hands reaching out instinctively.

She heard the noise of her hands hitting the thick plastic, and felt the pair of eyes lock on her

She had no idea who they belonged to, but dropped into the bush and began crawling, hearing the door open and curling up into one that wasn't right under the window. She heard footsteps, multiple pairs of them. Only one pair of eyes had seen her, so apparently the others came for backup.

They then faded, and she thought she was in the clear before the felt the shiver up her spine of a pair of eyes staring at her.

"Alright, I guess they ran off. Are you sure you weren't seeing things, Jason? I think it was just the wind, or maybe a bird. I'll keep a lookout and look around, you guys go back inside." A familiar voice spoke up. The others seemed to mutter in agreement and she heard the door open and close again, so it was just her and one other.

It was just her and John.

"So, what are you doing here?" Either he didn't see she was an animatronic, or somehow knew it was her. There was a slight crack in his voice he tried to cover as well, but she saw right through it. "The white makes it obvious, and really? A green sweatshirt? Not the best 'sneaking' material. Speak up now or I'll go get the others." She didn't want that.

So she backed up between the space of the house and the bush, looking up into John's eyes. His face contorted between shock, fear, and anger. She stayed silent.

"What are those guys at Foxy's doing, using an animatronic to spy on us?! Those sons of-"

"Wait, no, stop." He abruptly stopped as she spoke. "It wasn't them, I swear."

His eyebrows furrowed. "This isn't a funny joke, you bastards. Even in a hundred years this joke would be too soon."

She understood it was her familiar voice. "John, please. It's me, it's Charlie, and I- I just-" The blue paint ran down her mask and she wiped at it constantly, looking away.

"...this isn't the best place, but I.. if it really is you, maybe could we meet up? You have explaining to do and I'm sure it would be easier to do one on one. Maybe at Foxy's, after hours? Tomorrow night I can't, I've taken a late shift... how about Thursday night?" She just nodded, still wiping the paint. "And just... if this is a joke, which I'm hoping it isn't. This isn't funny."

"It's not a joke. I promise. Please believe me John." He nodded. "I'll see you Thursday."

"It's a date." Before she could realize how awkward that sounded, she stood up and briskly walked past the wooden fence gate, managing to get into Mike's car- parked a few houses down to not be as suspicious, in front of a For Sale house- and pulling up her hood, she drove away.

* * *

After recounting the events to the clown, who was holding her to her chest as they both sat on the floor of the garage, she couldn't stop the tears. She hated being so emotional, but she was scared.

Baby was at a loss for how to help. She absolutely wanted to. But maybe she could reassure her. So she began softly humming, her hand moving steadily across her back in the rhythm of the lullaby.

They sat like this as the paint flowed, the place nearly silent. But once the tears slowed to the occasional drip and the tube began to die, Baby took the initiative to bring the puppet into a reassuring kiss. It was a gentle, short one, but one desperately needed. Charlie curled in her lap after the kiss, her eyes widely looking towards the clown.

Finally a small smile began to appear.

Of course, Baby dearly feared losing Charlie. Of course, Baby feared Charlie may hurt. Of course, Baby feared the worst.

But she wouldn't say so aloud.

She knew that the puppet had been excited- before this encounter- to meet with her friends again. She wouldn't take away from that, and instead coaxed her on, reassuring her that it would work. Reassuring her that everything was okay. Reassuring her that she was on her side.

* * *

The instances were small, but they weren't unseen by the keen eye of the security puppet. Her eyes easily magnified the occurances, sending her head into a frenzy as the clown slowly but surely learned. She had a ways to go, but Baby wouldn't deny how wonderfully the incentive was working.

She wanted her. Typically she would push, but no more could she follow her typicallies. Charlie had her reevaluating all of her instincts, fighting against herself at all costs. The prize felt so far.

But the prize certainly wasn't as far as the lips she'd coaxed to meet hers.

Charlie's resolve was slipping. She used their relationship to goad Baby, but the feeling of their lips meeting, the array of bells she couldn't control every time she got close, it was irresistible. She didn't care if it was wrong, or if she was losing Baby's motive to change- she knew she'd regret this thinking later, but being so close to the other animatronic tended to make her thoughts go sour.

A hand brushed against the curve of her waist, settling there as her own hands went to each side of her head, as if she could coax the clown closer.

A perk to being an animatronic was the lack of needing air. The two never needed to separate, only doing so when Charlie's chest felt ready to explode into flames did she pull away, resting her forehead against Baby's bust. Baby's hand left her hip to gently brush over her head, where she got a gentle jingle in reply.

Her thoughts came together and she knew she'd lost the control in the situation. However, Baby gently spoke, not stopping her motions of the petting over her head.

"Thank you, Charlie. You helped me become better. I'll always become better. For you. To you, better isn't good enough, because better isn't perfect and you deserve _perfect_. I can't give you that. But I can try, and Charlie, I have tried. And I will try. I'm becoming better. And it's all thanks to you. So thank you." Her tone was different than usual. It was appreciative. A tone most never heard from the clown.

She gave an almost forced chuckle. "I certainly am not perfect, so I don't deserve perfect... but you are good enough. We should always strive to be better... but you have succeeded." Baby hadn't expected to hear that, it was clear by the way she froze. "...Baby?"

Her petting ceased, which allowed Charlie to push past her hand and sit up, looking unblinkingly at the clown. "Does this mean... I get the- I get you?" Charlie visibly brightened. "Only if you'll accept me, then yes!"

That was easier than either of them imagined, but neither of them were complaining. Baby drew the puppet back to her chest, speaking up into the awkward silence after minutes passed.

"Uh, so, I'm new at this dating thing... what's next? What do couples do?" Charlie nearly laughed. How was she to know? It's not like she truly dated John. At least she wouldn't consider it so.

"Uh... we kiss I guess? We spend time together and are there for each other, without boundaries." She wrapped her arms around the other's middle. "We can cuddle as much as you want."

She remembered a similar scenario with Ennard. She'd pushed him away and made a noise of disgust. But this wasn't Ennard, she reminded herself. This was the being that gave off such warmth and light- not only physically- whom she loved.

Baby had truly changed. Baby could feel love. It was real.

Baby's heart had grown three sizes that day.

Baby's heart had finally melted the ice, having been so overheated by Charlie's mere presence easily.

She truly did love Charlie.


End file.
